"Every toxic quality of tech" found in job ad for cloud-consultant role

A vacancy for a Sydney-based cloud consultant and platform architect posted on LinkedIn has been roundly criticised on social media for featuring "every toxic quality of tech"​.

George Nott Jul 19th 2018
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A vacancy for a Sydney-based cloud consultant and platform architect posted on LinkedIn has been roundly criticised on social media for featuring "every toxic quality of tech".

The ad for the $140,000 salary role from London-based IT recruitment agency Mongoose Gray has been criticised on social media for phrases like “work-life balances are for people who can stand their families” and “we’ll smack you around if you don’t know what EMV, SSO and API mean”.

The role at an unnamed ‘global technology consulting firm’ calls for “no stinkers” and “no wimps” is written in bold type, interspersed with italicised asides like “Oh god another client who thinks html is hormone replacement”.

The ad drew shocked reactions on Twitter and LinkedIn this week.

“This is so embarrassing for Australia. But unfortunately I've come across this bro-ey attitude far too often since I've moved down under. Especially in the tech sector,” wrote Amanda Gordon of Sydney design agency For The People on Twitter.

SAP Concur software engineer Tyler Walker tweeted: “Holy shit it's like Mongoose Gray took every toxic quality of tech and distilled it into a single shitty job posting”.

Craige Pendleton Browne, CTO at WorldFirst wrote on LinkedIn: “It’s so bad I actually had to read the whole thing. There is nothing that redeems it anywhere in the whole ad.”

"It is like a text book on what not to do in 2018," said OFX agile coach Jody Podbury.

Many were unsure if the post was a parody.

Paru Madhavan, scrum master at HotelsCombined.com, commented on LinkedIn: “Is it a spoof ad?! That’s really the only sensible explanation!”

The agency is genuine however, and its previous vacancy posts share a similar style.

A job ad from the same agency for a London-based technology project manager includes the lines: “You need to bring people along on the journey. Even poor people. We’re not poor. But poor people love us. We could stand in the middle of Trafalgar Square and shoot a poor person and poor people would still love us.”

After being contacted by CIO Australia, a spokesperson for Mongoose Gray said that its ads are usually well received.

"We typically use an external copywriting agency for our ad copy. Our ads are normally very well received, with both applicants and in some cases even non-applicants commenting positively on them. Seems this one has missed the mark. We will review and address forthwith," the agency said in an email.

Asked whether the post was a parody, the agency said it was.

"It’s intended to be a parody hence the varied font and formatting style. Alas perhaps this hasn’t come across as intended?" the spokesperson said.

The job description for the Sydney-based role – entitled ‘Make it rain’ – in full:

Make it rain. Cloud Consultant | Platform Architect.

We’ve got laptops and a Starbucks next door  We’re a global technology consulting firm, growing rapidly. We can’t remember what sleep is like It’s a fast-paced environment that’s challenging but rewarding. Our boss is one of the guys except he can fire you We’ve got a startup-style flat hierarchy Lose the ’tude so need someone who’s low on ego and high on can-do.

Someone please answer that damn phone We’re looking for a technical architect. Oh god another client who thinks html is hormone replacement You’ll be parachuted into fast-moving projects where clients are experiencing issues. You need every single quality of the Fantastic Four except that guy who’s on fire You’re an excellent, technical architect and consultant, who can talk to senior stakeholders – typically one or two levels below the board – about strategies and operating models. Like Stephen Hawking crossed with Jay Leno You’re highly tech-literate but good at communication.

No stinkers You’ll work in small, tight-knit teams with clients and partners. No wimps You’ll have the confidence to push back when clients don’t adhere to required methodologies. We’ll smack you around if you don’t know what EMV, SSO and API mean Financial services industry experience is a bonus. 

You'd better know your stuff. Cloud Services (Azure), Microservices, Virtual Networks, Distributed Systems, Load Balancers, IAAS, PAAS, SAAS, etc are your bread and butter.

Work-life balances are for people who can stand their families You’ll be comfortable with regular business travel, primarily domestic but some international. You might be able to move out of your mom’s house before you’re 40 We will pay you up to AUD 140,000 + excellent package + stock options.